Saturday, December 19, 2015

Mr. Stan's beauty tips for the media.

My hair and looks posts get huge ratings. So,to give the people what they like that's not Radnich( they love I give it to him) I need to offer advice too:

Justine Lodis KRON.  Her hair is way too heavy. Its a solid mass of dark brown with a part. I bet,its the same hairstyle shes had since HS graduation.
What she needs is some of that to be layered and lighten up that brown blob with some highlights. Blond streaks maybe. Right now its like that Monster in the Bugs Cartoon with his hair parted down the middle. She's a good looking woman with budget beauty efforts. She could thin the eyebrows a tad.
Or do nothing different like an old housewife. Lots of fun.

Keba Arnold. Her wardrobe doesn't say Power Anchor. It says kindergarten teacher. Greens and everything covered up to the chin..Just a very boring look. Again,another young woman taking after grandma.

Michele Grieco...another who is a smoking beauty..but the clothes are as unsexual as can be. Nothing is even slightly eye catchy. Its TV isn't it? Those eyes,those wide lips....and its everything plaid and paisley to go with the beautiful face.   Consult an expert, woman.

They need to watch FOX news cable. Even CNN ladies are now getting curvy and have see through desks to show off the legs.
Why is the bay area so backwards?

Darya- super flat hair? uh-uh. That's not flattering. What a shame that Dan is always moving his part on his head when you should be the one doing that.Have it off center. Flat down the middle only looks good on young surfer girls. uh,you've moved on past that now....Hey- take a look at Vicki's doo. THATS how its done.

Ross Palumbo. Don't his suits look a little small? Too tight? Like after Jr High he hit a growth spurt his first year in HS..and still wears the JR suit.  His hair? I would say he should try shaving his head. Grease on thinning MalePatternBaldness is like grabbing an anvil on a sinking boat.

Mark Ibanez...worst eye job in anchor history. Wow- Did that surgeon charge by the inch? its a botched job. Plus- get a real haircut. Enough of your mom cutting your hair Mark. Her scissors are dull too.

Jason Applebaum? My beauty hint is do the sports segment with a bag over yer head.

 Plastic. No cutouts. Do me that favor.